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  • Writer's pictureNeha Joshi

'Girl' Friends: Your tonic of survival

I had read an email long back when it was the era of forwarding great thoughts in email, as opposed to whatsapp today, about the importance for a girl to have girl-friends in each stage of her life. At 38 I so completely agree with it as strongly as I did back then. Ok, so for all those who are confused about this term as anything to do with same sex partners, let me correct. I am talking about having ‘Girl’ friends as in female friends. Times are changing so rapidly and language even more so that it is difficult to connote certain things in a straight manner.

So coming back to girl-friends; I recently had a night out with a bunch of girlfriends from starkly different age groups from our senior-most being a mother of two working independent children, two who were mothers of high school kids and then me being the youngest with kids aged 7 and 9 years. We had spent an amazing time few years back when we worked together and were such a bunch. It was great fun to just blurt out and talk about a range of topics from how to handle difficult heart breaking events in life, bringing up children, handling bad jobs / colleagues at work or simply being yourself in spite of everything happening around us. Women lead such a vibrant life that it is impossible to bottle it up and share it with just one person throughout. At each stage and age we go through so many diverse experiences that shape us, impact us and mould our personalities.

I have personally had the privilege at every age to have great friends in girls who are my age, younger than me or even way older than me. They have understood and given support to me in so many ways. I just cannot fathom a life without the presence of these girls in my life. It’s like when I have to laugh out loud I know there is a certain set of them who will make me laugh out loud and let that stress out. There is a bunch that will always be the guiding light and shake me up to realize my true potential. There is a bunch that will have some soul stirring conversations with me so that my inner self blooms with them. Then there are those who will make sure that all is fine with me and that I am fine. When I was talking about planning a long pending reunion with my college friends my close friend for years mentioned that we must meet and just blurt out all that’s pent up inside us to make sure no one goes into depression. That is power to me when women try to uplift and stand by each other to make sure that no one ever falls or even if she does, she has a hand to pull her out.

At each stage a girl goes through many things that can probably be shared better with her girl-friends rather than anybody else. Imagine, going through a period cramp with no girl to share how much it pains, to experience marriage anxiety and fear of settling in a new home with no girl-friend to share the pangs of uncertainty or a simple non-sense hormonal imbalance mood swing which only a female can understand. There is so much to share and care about.

The journey of a girl into being a woman is not just physical but also a roller-coaster ride of emotions too. She needs to vent it in front of someone who can just be a listener without judgement and prejudice. Our girl-friends right from our childhood to school, college, office and then various circles where we meet like-minded women of all ages are very important for our personal growth and inner peace. There is always a nagging boss, a demanding job, a family member who is being difficult and kids who are testing you to the last level with your patience. It’s not that a parent or a life partner won’t understand but a female will understand so much better because she knows where you are coming from. She has been there at some point or maybe will be there someday and wants to support.

A tonic of sorts, these girls will always have your back and lift you up when you need them. Contrary to popular belief that women never support each other the narrative is changing very rapidly or rather for me and many in my circle it never was any different. We know that to survive in a world where we already have fewer opportunities and chances to live our dreams it’s WE who must come forth in support of each other.

So here’s raising a toast to all those girls and women who support each other and make sure that they fix each other’s crowns without making a fuss about it.

Long Live girl-friends and their friendship. Cheers!

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